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Rings Review

First you watch it. Then you die…of boredom.

The year is 2017, in the first four weeks of the year a plague of cinema is clear for all to see. Excrement such as The Bye Bye Man, xXx: Return of Xander Cage and Rings masquerade as films, their true identity as awful entertainment exposed after you’ve taken time out of your life to watch them.

Sorry I digress. The story goes, woman watches tape, gets cursed, and has seven days to live. Unless she can figure out how to beat the curse. However after seven minutes you’ll be regretting you even considered watching this sorry excuse for a horror film. After coming out of my viewing Rings I had one question gnawing at my brain repeatedly, how did it come to this? Of course I knew the answer, money. The oft delayed film has been sitting on the shelf since 2015, however it could have been released before the Japanese original and it would still be a pile of garbage.

Watching Rings has been one of the most painfully dull cinema experiences I’ve ever had. I should have walked out and used my time better, but instead I persisted hoping for a glimpse of promise. A decision I’ll forever regret. Someway somehow the film is barren of every ounce of fear the originals mustered, it’s not scary nor contains anything that can be considered as scary. In fact it doesn’t even feel like they tried. There is an attempt to explore backstory to Samara, but I’d be surprised if you even cared after the ridiculous braille hand burn. Why the filmmakers even feel the need to explain what happens when somebody watches the video is beyond my comprehension.

There aren’t enough superlatives to attribute to the dullness of Rings. It’s a terrible film that deserves the fate of it’s antagonist, thrown down a well and forgotten about for eternity.

About Snooty Usher Dan

Favourite Film: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975) Worst Film: The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007) Guilty Pleasure: Step Up 2: The Streets (The dancing is awesome ok.....)


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